My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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