yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
