69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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