Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
