I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
