If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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