Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
