Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
