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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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• (713): View more from Texas

  She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"

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• (626): View more from California

  I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK

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• (707): View more from California

  I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs

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