I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
