he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
