Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
