ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
