I skipped work to stalk him.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
