I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
