I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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