Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We need to rekindle our bromance
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
