Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
