i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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