laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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