Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
