Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
