That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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