Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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