Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
