As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
