How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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