I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
