Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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