Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
