i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
barbara walters just said penis...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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