Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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