OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
