The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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