respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
