do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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