i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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