I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
