jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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