it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
