Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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