Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
