I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
