mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
