if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
