I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
