we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you never un-have a 4some
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
