Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
