she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
