There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
